I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
50% drunk capacity currently
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
