i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize