Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
