In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
