How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
time to smoke my breakfast
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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