I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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