He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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