Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
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