fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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