I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
how do flat chested girls get laid?
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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