I love black thongs
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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