I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Randomize
