1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
