i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
