I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
