So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
