made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
honey bunches of taint.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize