Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
