Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
