yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
