tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
