there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
He has the fingertips of a God
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