Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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