Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Randomize
