Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
