Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
high people should be assigned attendants
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
