so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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