I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
