After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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