YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
