420 ftw
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
