weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
