Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
