the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
