I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
