Betty ford says i'm here all night
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
