How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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