people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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