omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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