You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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