i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
