soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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