Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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