I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
