my sisters under your porch take her home
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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