So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
