so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
im six kinds of drunk right now
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize