in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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