your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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