I wannas sexs uuuuu
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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