I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
