is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
