to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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