hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
