Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
