Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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