Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
