Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize