I showed him my bush... on skype.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
