Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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