I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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