i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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