I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
